Everybody has their own emotional baggage, and this * gestures to the whole site * is mine. Anyway, this is mainly for the fun of showing future me of all the things that she has managed to unload from her ever-so chaotic brain. And of course, for hopefully making her cry by reading all of her milestones, realizations, and memories she probably forgot about.Welcome to the most chaotic drawer that you'll stumble upon on this site.
Is this considered a blast from the past?
This was my first entry on my secret Tumblr, 11 years ago. Who would have thought that I'll be making a damn website just for me to dump all of my brain junk in it?! Anyway, I better maximize this sh*t because giiiiiiirrrrll~ this ain't cheap. I have invested not just my money but as well as my time.You will probably notice that I have parental issues. Yes, it's not the best of both worlds. But to be fair, I still grew up decent, so tyL for that.Anyway, I also need to practice my typing skills because my hands can't keep up with the dialogues and ideas in my head. And if I adjust how fast my brain talks the I loose the thought and then frustrate me.Happy doomscrooling!
03 June 2026
I was scrolling through TikTok when I came across a post that said, “Little me would be so happy to know my heart is in such good hands.” That sentence made me tear up a bit.I was so consumed by work and the stress that came with it that I didn’t even have the energy to pause and realize how far I’ve come. So, what does that have to do with the sentence? Well, I suddenly realized that little me would be so happy right now — she’s now surrounded by people who are willing to love her without her having to beg or chase.She has grown to be the person she’s been looking for in others, and that has attracted people who are genuine and are simply happy to have her in their lives. She now gets to be a part of their milestones and experience the highs and lows of life together.She’s no longer alone. She’s loved in ways she never knew existed.
”Love never fails. So if it fails it wasn’t love. It was a lesson.” - 1 Corinthians 13:8
The first thing I thought of was my relationship with my parents. And it made me teary when I asked myself “were my parents a lesson? If yes, then what was I being taught?” Then I made a quick self reflection. Listed in my head my traits that people around me are found of;1. Independent
2. Caring
3. Understanding
4. Kind
5. Thoughtful
6. Experimental
7. LovingThen I realized that this were the results of the things my parents taught me —I am independent because I had to figure things out on my own because I am the oldest.I am caring because they often leave my younger brother with me and what does a baby know about taking care of himself?I am understanding because my mom would share her emotional baggage with me to process when I can’t even understand my own.I am kind because I know what it feels like to not have anyone to rely on or even spare a minute to ask what am I going through?I am thoughtful because I know how much it means to have someone remember the things about you.I am experimental because I am slowly realizing that I am no longer controlled by my parents’ expectations.I am loving because I didn’t have an abundance of it growing up.
#Drafts #23 May 2026